Who is your Mashpia

Dear____

If I understand correctly, your question is that your mother is in the “high risk” category if she were R”L to catch Corona, and therefore the doctor wants anyone in your family who is over twelve years old to receive a vaccine.

Your question is whether to go ahead with it because of your concern that you may be given the AstraZeneca vaccine, and you have been told that it has a negative side effect.

First, I commend you for asking, but really this is a question for a Rov, not a Mashpia. I am not a Rov, and I do not have the Siatta Dishmaya of a Rov.

That said, allow me to take issue with the premise of the question.

Today, when information is so readily available, things we didn’t dream we would ever know are suddenly really easy to discover.

But this knowledge doesn’t mean we actually know what we are talking about.

I once had a Magid Shiur who was teaching us the importance of ‘Shimush’, learning how to pasken. He began his Shiur with a three-minute introduction on why על פי קבלה we should put Tefillin on our leg.

I must tell you, it made absolute sense.

When he finished, he asked: “Nu, so according to Kabola where should we put Teffilin? The answer, of course, is on our head and bicep. Why? Because a good Pilpul and doesn’t change reality”.

Anyone can prove anything.

To be accepted as a member of Sanhedrin you needed to be able to find 150 reasons why a spider is Kosher. I imagine I could convince you that the Rebbe both is and is not Moshiach.

This is the importance of humility.

Knowing that it is not your ability to read that makes you a doctor, nor does your proficiency in Shulchan Oruch make you a Rov.

It is the knowledge, coupled by guided hands-on learning overseen by an experienced other, that gives you that ability.

If there is one thing I learnt quickly in my first months in Chinuch, it is that not every good-sounding theory translates into reality.

To be clear, I am not on any sort of campaign to insist you should or should not get vaccinated; I am not a doctor, and so I am not even entitled to an opinion on why you should

Furthermore, this is not an issue that relegated to medical questions… I am a young man, but I have already seen untrained mediators leaving a bigger mess than before they came in, teachers trying to give therapy, Bochurim arguing with Rabonim, someone giving CPR without a clue what he is doing, and the list goes on and on…

The crazy thing about all the above is that when they walked away, they were sure that they succeeded. Despite having made matters worse, Every. Single. Time.

When I have a medical question, I simply follow the Rebbe’s command; Ask a רופא ידיד or receive a second opinion. 

Some basic humility in where our ‘expertise’ are, is certainly the most rational approach. 

So to your question specifically, if your doctor, who I imagine knows about the study you were told about, is not concerned, why would you be?

If you are concerned that he may not be best placed to answer this for whatever reason — ask a second opinion from another Doctor.

And on that note: If you are still anxious speak to your Rov. Just as I am not capable of giving medical advice, I am also not the address for these questions in Halocha/Hashkofa.

With Brochos for בריאות הנכונה בגו”ר,

MMI

***

We have discussed this many times before, perhaps too many times, and our aim in these undertakings is always to keep moving forward. However, there are some things that are so crucial that it is worth focusing on it again.

As humans, especially as Yidden, we have immense talent which we intrinsically feel, even where others may not see it. 

Whilst this is an incredibly beneficial trait, because it allows us to push ourselves to achieve the assumed impossible, it brings with it a negative because it allows us to gloss over the areas where we lack.

Therefore, it is imperative to have an outsider with whom we talk regularly. 

As an aside, though very important:

Rabbi Binyomin Klein was very secretive, and it was hard to get a story out of him, but there was one I heard from him a good number of times.

He told of a Bochur who wrote to the Rebbe that upon the advice of his Mashpia, he is leaving Yeshiva and going to university.

The Rebbe tasked Rabbi Klein with finding out the identity of this Bochur’s Mashpia, with the caveat that under no circumstances should this Bochur know they are trying to find this out…

I do not know how they managed… but Rabbi Klein did his due diligence and discovered that this boys Mashpia was none other than his colleague, another Bochur learning in 770 at the time…

After reporting the information to the Rebbe, the next task was to find out what was the reasoning of this “Mashpia”. Again with the caveat that he should not realise that he is being asked to reveal this information.

I would imagine calling that a challenging task is an understatement… but Rabbi Klein eventually uncovered the “Mashpia’s” reasoning; “Well, he’s anyway just wasting his time, and he doesn’t learn a word, so he may as well go get a degree”…

The story speaks for itself, but just to quote what an older Chossid once told me;

There is no bigger proof to how much the Rebbe believes in us, than the fact that he trusted us to choose our own Mashpia.  

Since Gimmel Tamuz, the Keilim for our Ruchniyusdike decisions are the Rabonim and personal Mashpiim. And talking things through באופן קבוע is a must. 

Because, if we rely only on our own understanding of the books, we can end up up being concerned becoming haughty enough to assume that we can do everything ourselves…

As we approach Gimmel Tamuz, it is time to make a Cheshbon Hanefesh on how often we speak to our Mashpia, and if we can be truly open and honest with him and allow him into the depths of our soul…