The mid sixteen-hundreds were very difficult times for the Yidden of Poland, Lithuania, and Ukraine.
It all began with an angry madman, who in response to being treated unfairly in business, rallied tens of thousands of boorish peasants, and created a class war against the Nobilty in the Polish–Lithuanian Commonwealth, eventually joining forces with the Russian Czar and creating what would later become the Russia-Poland war.
As always, Jews were the scapegoats in this thuggery, (this time with the excuse that they were the managers of the nobles estates), and One-Hunderd Thousand Yidden were killed in the most brutal of ways.
Barely had the Yidden began to collect the pieces of their shattered lives, when a charlatan, who may or may not have been entirely emotionally stable, came onto the scene proclaiming himself to be Moshiach.
Very knowledgeable in Kabola, Hundreds of thousands of Yidden, including some big Rabonim excitedly bought his story and excitedly accepted his proclamation, that after a thousand five hundred bitter years, the glory has returned.
People began to prepare the clothes of their recently killed family members in anticipation of Techiyas Hameisim, many others sold their homes and closed their businesses in anticipation for the Shofars call and the descending of the clouds that will carry them to Yerusholayim.
Everything became temporary. The world as they knew it was about to change for ever, so there was no need to focus on the day to day.
His eventual conversion to Islam just to save his physical life, was a gut-punch that they just couldn’t handle. To go from going to Eretz Yisroel any second, back to the Tzoros of the past decade was just too much.
All this in addition to all the daily challenges of life then, (it’s not like they were living in a מלכות של חסד in any way)… plus the illiteracy, and the total disregard of the simple working folk by the Bnei Torah.
It was all too much. Apathy set in.
Yidden were just not emotionally present.
It was like they were in a faint.
A person who faints ר”ל is still very much alive, they are breathing, and their organs and brain are functioning, but because the body is overwhelmed by some issue, it shuts down any “outside” matters so it can use all its energy to focus on the vital organs.
Focused on the critical needs for life, but unable to appreciate the beauty of life.
This was the situation for the Yidden of the time.
The focus was on getting bread. They strenuously pushed themselves to keep the Mitzvos Anoshim Melumodoh, but Avodas Hashem – that was just too much.
People tried to help. Well-meaning Magidim would travel from town to town telling horror stories of Gehinom,
Threatening the already broken Yidden that if they don’t do what Hashem wants they are going to burn in a fire oh so hot, that if they are Mevatel Torah they will go to Gehinom Shel Sheleg, where its oh so cold, and don’t even think about what happens when you talk Lashon Hora.
This was life for over sixty years,
Until the Baal Shem Tov was forced to reveal his knowledge.
He taught that whilst they were factually correct, these Magidim, they were at the same time oh so wrong.
These Yidden were Anusim, they were not doing it wrong because they didn’t care, they were doing wrong because they didn’t have Koach to know.
And these Magidim were wrong for a different reason.
They were wrong because their entire approach was wrong.
Everyone has to go to Gehinom, it is an obvious outcome of our life in this most physical of worlds.
Gehinom is the process of ascent.
It is the process of refinement as the Neshoma attains even greater understanding in Elokus (known as going to a higher level in Gan Eden), shaking off any remnants of their previous understanding (or action).
Even the greatest of Tzadikim become further refined [go מחיל אל חיל] only via the Nehar Dinor.
But, taught the Baal Shem Tov,
It is not fear of Gehinom that should motivate – it is living life’s purpose that should motivate.
Living with purpose is not only a greater motivator, it is more real.
Doing a Mitzva is the most precious thing to Hashem – it is the very reason He created you.
Do the Mitzva regardless of how much you do or don’t know. Because it is the Mitzva Hashem wants – you are a cog in that desire.
And when it comes from a person who knows nothing, and who does it only because Hashem wants, His pleasure is multiplied.
Hard day? Going through a challenging time?
Yeah.
You did the Mitzva anyway?! Despite the hardship, despite not understanding a thing,
Doing a Mitzva only because it is the Rotzon Haborei! Can there be greater pleasure to the Borei than that?
Said the holy Rebbi Pinchos Koritzer, that Rabbeinu Yisroel Baal Shem Tov brought the Yidden out their faint.
We no longer functioned only to keep our most vital organs functioning. No. The Baal Shem Tov imbued us with purpose and value, and taught us the preciousness of doing as best as we can.
He taught us to look at our purpose, rather than be motivated only by the dread of what will happen if don’t listen…
***
There is a Vort from Chassidishe Rebbe’s, (the earliest source is hard to ascertain), that
Tamuz is Roshei Teivos זריזין מקדימין ועושין תשובה – those who are zealous [have great enthusiasm/eager] begin doing Teshuva early.
They say that the Rebbe’s father would oft repeat this.
Another Roshei Teivos is also repeated in the name of some of the Ba’alei Musser (some Chassidishe Seforim write it as well), that
Tamuz is Roshei Teivos זמני תשובה ממשמשין ובאין – the time of Teshuva is approaching.
Though these two sound similar, they actually reveal two radically different approaches.
In essence it is a question of identity.
Because, whilst זמני תשובה ממשמשין ובאין shows on real deep Yiras Shomayim – an individual scared of Rosh Hashanah that he already begins trembling three months in advance… (The time for Teshuva is coming…)
The former on the other hand connotes an entirely different message. That of a person who is so excited about the prospect of returning to Hahsem, of shedding their current challenges and ascending to higher levels, that they don’t want to wait until Elul.
They are happy to start already now.
***
As Elul approaches, and the energy is given to us to do Teshuva – to deepen our ability in Avodas Hashem,
we will Bli Neder, work step by step over the next few weeks on planning our next year.
This week we will focus on the first step, which is simply to make a Cheshbon Hanefesh – an accounting.
Once we know what we do (and don’t do) we can then work on where we will improve.
Here is how we make a Cheshbon Hanefesh;
A) Make a list of what it is you should be doing.
- Take a blank sheet of paper and write for five full minutes what you would be doing in your ideal day. Tip; set an alarm and don’t take your pen off the paper the entire time. Don’t stop to think how important is this or that – we will weed out all the extras shortly for now, just get your ideal day on paper
- Note: It is important that you get specific (it will help you in the next steps). For example; I wake up in the morning and don’t snooze further, rather I immediately put one had to the other, say Mode Ani and think about how Hahsem is watching my every step. Then I wash Negel Vaser. After which I begin to get dressed ensuring to keep covered at all times and putting on the right side prior to the left side. I than wash Negel Vaser again and go to Mikva etc. etc. Just before I begin learning I think about the Yichud Nifla that is about to occur. I than learn every moment, (which I love) ensuring that I fully understand every “Shtikul” etc. I go to sleep whilst trying to ensure think Devorim Hamutorim.
- Once you are done with that, take the paper of what you have written and extract the Halocha’s, Minhogim and Hidurim from your “ideal day description”.
- In our example: I wake up in the morning and don’t snooze further, rather I immediately put one had to the other, say Mode Ani and think about how Hahsem is watching my every step. Then I wash Negel Vaser. After which I begin to get dressed ensuring to keep covered at all times and putting on the right side prior to the left side. I than wash Negel Vaser again and go to Mikva etc. Just before I begin learning I think about the Yichud Nifla that is about to occur. I than learn every moment, (which is easy because learning is something I love) ensuring that I fully understand to the best of my ability every “Shtikul” etc. I go to sleep whilst trying to ensure I only think Devorim Hamutorim
- Now you have a list of things you know you should be doing.
B) Which of those are you already doing.
C) What do you need to begin/improve?
- Regarding improvement: Get specific: in what way do I need to improve (you may want to do the writing exercise on this specific thing – it will help you assess where you are and where you want to be).
And that that is it. You have now made the Cheshbon of where you are holding.
D) Now choose five things from that list that you will begin to do (or improve in).
You have now made a “Cheshbon Hanefesh”.
Next, we will IYH tweak this paper.
But for now, begin working on those five things you chose.
Let’s do this! No matter how trivial and childish it seems, trust me, we will turn our lives around, and truly live the life we were created to live.
Important Note: A plan for the future should be made under the guidance of your Mashpia. The ideas above are only to meant to serve as tips in actualising our ideals.