Don’t get drunk on Purim – Here’s why

My grandmother, Rebbitzen Rivka Zajac (affectionately known by her students as “Morah Rivka”), was ten years old, when she and her family escaped communist Russia, on one of the famous “Polish trains”, emigrating to the United States of America.

As a young girl growing up in 770, (young enough be on her father’s side of the Mechitza), she merited to be a part of the very early years of the Rebbe’s Nesius.

One Simchas Torah, whilst standing next to her father in the upstairs hallway, near the door of the Shul, she noticed a Chossid sitting off to the side, his joyous participation in the Pre-Hakofos Farbrengen had left him noticeably unwell.

Scared, she tugged at her father’s sleeve, and pleaded with him to take her to a different part of the Shul; further away from this individual.

“Tatte Er Iz Shikker, father, he is drunk” She said.

At the same moment she said that, the Rebbe came out of the Shul and into the hallway. Hearing her comment the Rebbe looked directly at the young girl and with a gentle smile the Rebbe said: “Ah Yid Vert Nisht Shikker, Ah Yid Vert Freilach” – a Yid doesn’t become drunk, a Yid becomes Joyous.

Semantics are important

A Yid doesn’t get drunk! A Yid says Lechaim and becomes joyous. True, at times they may say too much Lechaim, but they never C”V become drunk.

What is the difference between being drunk and saying too much Lechaim?

Isn’t it ultimately the same thing?

The answer is of course not. Because intent is everything!

The key distinction is ‘Why’ are you drinking the wine?

Alcohol relaxes a person’s inhibition, and allows them to rise above their day-to-day troubles and “stresses” (albeit temporarily). But one does not need to get ‘drunk’ to relax.

So why would someone get drunk?

A person who gets drunk is actually trying to ‘lose their self-control’.

They are not drinking a small glass of wine simply to relax, momentarily forgetting their stresses; rather they are actively trying to lose their unique ability for self-control — for the sole purpose of being in a state of “no control”.

Imagine, a Medaber, who’s Ma’ale over an animal is in the fact that they have ‘Sechel’, and thus know how to be in control of themselves and not act impulsively, trying to lose that very Ma’ale!

Even a person who never intended to get so drunk, they merely wanted to lose a bit of their inhibition, for the purpose of of personal pleasure, is in a smaller way doing that same thing — trying to lose a part of their ‘Sechel’. Becoming fully ‘drunk’ is just a more exaggerated level of that.

But a Yid who says Lechaim is totally different!

Because when drinking a Lechaim a Yid is trying to achieve the exact opposite.

A Yid is actually trying to bring his Sechel exactly to where it naturally should be.

Naturally, by virtue of his Nefesh Elokis, a Yid wants to focus on understanding Hashem and doing what He wants. It is only the ‘Nefesh Habehamis’ with the help of ‘Oilom Hazeh’, that distracts a person.

The difficulty for us is, that a person always wants to feel ‘congruent’. That means that a person naturally wants to do the right thing (at least what they feel is right).

As could be imagined, the in-congruence caused by the constant struggle between our two competing energy’s, says the Alter Rebbe, is a source of unhappiness within a Yid. The pain is especially acute when a person follows the desires of their Nefesh Habehamis and Yetzer Hora.

One of the ways to rise above those distractions and get ‘in touch’ with the true reality – that of the Nefesh Elokis – is for a Yid to say Lechaim.

Saying Lechaim allows the natural effect of the wine to quiet the voice of the Nefesh Habehamis,

enabling the person to analyse where they really could and should be, and perhaps even take a ‘Hachlota’ that will serve as the first step to get them to that place.

It is this clarity of remembering: what is really real, who you really are, and what you really can achieve though: Quieting the Nefesh Habehamis and making our Nefesh Elokis the reality,

which creates the congruence that enables us to be truly “Freilach”.

Even when the effect of the ‘Mashke’ wears off and the ‘Nefesh Habehamis’ comes back with a vengeance, the person at least remembers what they really want, and can work toward that goal. Better yet, if they took a practical Hachlota, than they already have the first part of the plan in place.

True, a person may at some point say too much Lechaim for their body to handle, and obviously they can no longer even focus on his Nefesh Elokis (or anything for that matter…), but are they ‘drunk’? Chas Vesholom!

Because:

Drunk means active loss of self-control. Freilach means in full control of your true self!

This is the reason why on Purim, despite a Yid having said so much ‘Lechaim’ that they no longer know the difference between good (Mordechai) and bad (Homon), they have nevertheless still not lost their ‘self-control’.

On the contrary, because of the great Gilui that exists in the world on this holy day, a Yid is able (with the help of something physical to quiet the brain) to perceive a level where Hashem is the only reality, and “Good vs Bad” i.e. anything related to Tzimtzum — even at its highest levels — is no longer an object to them.

But the above can only be achieved if you are saying Lechaim for the right reason!

In other words it’s all about your ‘agenda’, what is going on in your head before you even begin pouring the wine;

why are you even thinking of drinking?

Because only if your entire purpose of saying Lechaim is in order to get in control of your real true self, will the wine make you ‘Freilach’.

Stated clearly: There is no Chiyuv to get drunk on Purim! Getting drunk is below the dignity of any human, let alone a Yid! A person who just wants to get Shiker — shouldn’t drink wine!

There is a Chiyuv to get to a state where you are fully in touch with your Nefesh Elokis. If you say Lechaim with that agenda than I wish you “Lechaim Velivrocha”, may it be a Hisva’adus Peilos.

If you are under 40

There are varying Ho’raos from the Rebbe of whether one may say more than four Lechaim’s on Purim or not. Bochurim for whom I currently serve as Mashpia know where I stand on this matter. But it is up to the Hanhola and Mashpi’im in each individual place to guide.