B”H
Slichos
770 was packed.
From the pictures being sent around the atmosphere looked electric…
Slichos! Even for the most hard of hearts the start of Slichos shakes us up. Reminding us that it’s real, Rosh Hashona is upon us.
Yet, I couldn’t rid myself of the nagging feeling brought to heart.
In my minds eye I travelled back to those dark days in Nissan.
***
Purim
“Lechaim! May the Gilui of Ad Delo Yoda be Mevatel this Mageifa”! Someone sitting around the packed table announced this past Purim during a break between ‘Purim Shpeelers’.
And what a Seuda it was. Three generations squished around the table, children in costumes sitting on their father’s lap, whilst the proud grandfather surveyed his Nachas.
We knew there was a problem.
We heard about the lock-down starting in Eretz Yisrael, and were slightly bemused by the “Jewish overreaction”. Proud that Yidden take life seriously! We heard something vague about the terrible number of casualties in Italy, and the secrecy in China.
Yet it did not affect our Purim. Not much anyway.
***
A video goes around a few days later. A woman living in Italy is crying to her brethren in Eretz Yisrael, begging them to take this thing called ‘Corona’ seriously; “What don’t you understand? There are coffins everywhere here in Italy! They have taken to burning bodies!”.
I heard about this in Shul, huddled with a crowd. Hey, small talk is easier these days…
And then Yeshivos closed…
The next morning was the first day I questioned if I should go to Mikvah.
I didn’t.
It felt weird.
My head told me that I was doing the right thing. But my heart wasn’t so convinced.
But then the notices started going up.
And every day brought a new wave of pain.
Gone was the frustration at things beings closed… at the new challenges to Parnossa… At entertaining my children of all ages whilst juggling my own Shiurim and providing for Bochurim the world over – utilising the darkness to grow in areas that they probably never would in their own Yeshiva.
Yeah. We hardly slept. Didn’t get a moments rest. Didn’t leave our home. But that was life.
What was the other option? To keep on as normal?!
With all the pain surrounding us, taking the precautions seriously wasn’t even a question.
Those breaking the rules were (justifiably) ridiculed. They were yelled at in the streets and being blamed for the deaths of others.
And if we ever, ever, grew frustrated, the Tehillim requests or Levaya notices of yet another person we knew and loved reminded us that this invisible disease is oh so real.
***
Here we were, five months later, and yet again not “taking the virus seriously”.
And I asked myself: How did we get here? Have we just forgotten what it was like in the days before Pesach?
How feeble the human mind is.
How our eyes deceive us into following only what it sees, how quickly we discard the unseen.
Regardless of how much we know it to be true.
The contrast between Pesach time and Slichos time…
It brings to the forefront of my mind another fact that we know yet can’t see.
Another reality that though so real in our minds doesn’t always affect the way we act.
The reality of ה’ אחד.
Rosh Hashana is upon us, זוחלין ורועדים מיום בואך, Yet, my mind turns to question how I will keep true reality in the forefront of our minds even when חודש השביעי ends.
How will I ensure to remember המלך mid-Teves too?
And like the accursed virous, this too will need a constant reminder.
A constant repetition and focus on the truth.
So, before the new year, I cannot think of a better Hachlota to help me live next year following reality rather then the shallow, then the decision that:
Not a morning should go by without having learned Chassidus.
As everything in this world has an opposite – (זה לעומת זה עשה אלוקים) it is my Tefilla that just as this year we witnessed the reality of the unsee able via the damage it caused, may we now see the unsee able via incredible good בביאת משיח צדקינו when וראו כל בשר יחדיו כי פי ה’ דיבר.
יה”ר שתזכו כולכם בכתיבה וחתימה טובה לשנה טובה ומתוקה, שתתברכו בכל מילי דמיטב מנפש ועד בשר ואך טוב וחסד ירדפוכם תכה”י